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| everything's just so good and i'm so happy, it's just the level of stress that sucks. Nights like tonight staying up till 3 talking to my boy in a mixture of online and the phone makes me so happy, and yet so scared at the same time. i'm scared for the nights we won't be up until 3 in the morning on the phone. i'm scared for how much i tell him and how i tell him even more than my best friends now, because one day he won't be there and my more than best friend will be gone. it's as if i'm too honest with him and too open. it's the one thing i can't bring up, how i'm scared for the day we won't be together | | |
| i know no one reads xanga anymore, that's why i am doing this maybe, just for myself. i love. i love love, i missed it. i am scared of it. what a consuming emotion. i thought last time it would be it for me. i thought you could only have one love, or even just at as a teenager to have more than one love, that's lucky. i am lucky. it's amazing, to just be completely in it, in this emotion and know that someone feels the exact same way about you. On it's own it's amazing to like someone, but for someone to like you back, to share a mutual feeling, i'm infatuated with that idea itself. someone loves me, and i love them back. | | |
| Despite having a seemingly horrible now yesterday, I am in love with life. Starting at the end, Nora and I walked each other respectively home and then, not finishing our conversation, to the subway. Previously we hung out in Isadora's lobby escaping the cold Riverside or Central Park night, depending on who you are. Of course being uptown I bumped into Reese and of course knowing me I overanalyze and somehow think maybe it's a sign bumping into him that something is supposed to happen? (comment that) I saw "Borat" and it was mad good. It was school, getting a crappy grade on a chem test, HAVING MY CELL PHONE REVOKED, funny all of my entries are like my cellphone this, my cellphone that. it's actually my best friend. i hate Joel Klein! someone protest with me please? Also skipping lunch for a spanish project in the library was crap crap crap. I miss my fourth period lunch crew. Lastly, stupid Euro teacher marked me present yesterday when i was absent and now i have cuts in every class for yesterday (and by yesterday i mean the day before) regardless i am still in love with life and am happy with everything | | |
| The worst thing about being a female is definetly the emotions, specifically the mood swings: I Miss | | |
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